Droner

There are a lot of people who come to Skypeland to lecture others. Some of these lectures are interesting, but some are less than captivating.

For example, many find the secular Jew D's jokes, personal vignettes and monologues entertaining, but others disagree vehemently.

A visitor to Skypeland who frequently goes into drawn-out dilatory explanations is CWS. CWS is an autodidact. CWS has only a high school education, but reads widely and is able to give lengthy "commentaries" on a wide variety of religious, political and scientific matters (some might denigrate CWS's prelections as diatribes). Although many disagree with some of the material CWS recites, his memory is impressive.

The Algerian conspiracy theorist DJ also used to give long-winded harangues when Skypecasts were active. DJ claimed that Jews are the most evil people on the planet and that all Jews should be eliminated. Sometimes DJ would change things up a bit and blame all the world's problems on the Americans or the West (or just kaffirs in general, when he was in an expansive mood). However, DJ is no longer able to do this in the present incarnation of Skypeland since others will not sit quietly and allow him to blather on unimpeded. In a fit of pique at the unfairness of being forced to engage in a dialogue and defend his views, DJ has left Skypeland, at least for the time being.

The unfairness of a pro-American Skypeland venue is commonly discussed by assorted Brits in Skypeland, like Mucus and Mrs. B. Mucus and Mrs. B demand that they be allowed to preach about a variety of loony conspiracy theories, reveal that the USA is evil and rant that Zionism is the same as Fascism, without anyone disagreeing or responding. They share this complaint with most other conspiracy theorists, like the Florida pothead TP. Nothing outrages a conspiracy theorist more than being told that their assertions are not particularly credible or compelling. After hearing them a few times, they get very tiring.

However, perhaps the champion in serving up dry orations of extended duration in Skypeland is HF, a German filmmaker, bike peddler and anti-Muslimization activist. Some in Skypeland have nicknamed HF "H-Droner" because of his propensity to go on and on and on in a monotone voice, seemingly without a break even to breathe, holding forth on some of the most arcane subjects.

Sometimes HF has a semi-interesting adventure to relate, but HF's delivery does not always help retain the attention of his audience. HF has travelled widely, and one evening he related an account of a tryst with a young lady in Africa. This assignation anecdote could have been quite amusing, but unfortunately it was not. HF's version was that after "insertion", HF was startled when he felt a substantial amount of friction and an unpleasant chafing sensation. HF asked his partner why this was so (since she was a young lady) and she revealed that it was traditional in her culture for women to stuff dry grasses inside themselves to absorb any juices and reduce the lubrication (I imagine this is somewhat similar to J's experiences with the lady he calls the "Tumbleweed"). This report was delivered in a banal bloodless neutral fashion, without much emotion or verve. HF probably could have presented this narrative in a more entertaining fashion, in my opinion.

Other times, HF can babble on for long extended periods about stuff which is probably of limited interest to most other people. For example, one of HF's favorite subjects is his conception, construction and testing of a wooden bicycle. Visitors to Skypeland are offered the opportunity to hear HF describe, for many hours in excruciatingly minute detail, his efforts to create a ligneous velocipede of novel design.

HF gives protracted comprehensive explanations of cutting and filing and sanding the planks and boards into the desired shapes. Every stage and aspect of this project is delineated, analyzed, and recapitulated. Interminably. HF expounds. HF expiates. HF elaborates and enumerates. Repeatedly. And then does it again, for good measure. All very precise, and all very arid and tedious.

This enterprise has also resulted in a large number of crashes and other mishaps, as HF learns about the physics of human-powered two-wheeled conveyances through the creation of some painful abrasions on his backside. Everyone listening gets a complete rendering of all particulars.

It seems that not only are HF's soliloquies a bit grating, but somehow the topics HF chooses often revolve around some sort of attrition, fretting, grinding, rasping, corrasion, debridement or trituration. Based on this, I predict that soon Skypeland will hear HF give a platitudinous, monotonous vapid discourse or two (or more) about something like lapidary, frottage, scouring dirty pots or tribadism.

Or perhaps HF will combine two of his interests and his next presentation will focus on intercrural sex (known in Arabic as "thighing") , which Mohammed engaged in with his fiance Aisha (from ages 6 through 9 according to some Sunnah in the Hadiths). Not only is thighing all about rubbing (which seems to be a recurring theme in many of HF's stories), but it is quite frequently brought up by detractors of Islam. Although it is difficult to imagine that any kind of sex could be boring, if there is a way to make it dull, I am pretty sure that our Teutonic rhetorician H-Droner will find it.