Perfect fit

Sometimes a Skypeland visitor will be so inebriated that it is almost impossible to decipher what they are saying. The international mercenary and bathroom contractor R held forth for a while the other day, attempting to dominate the conversation. Unfortunately, no one could tell what he was saying. Here is a sampling:

*You pole dance a nudger. Then he cackled drunkenly.

It took R about 10 tries to get that out. It still did not make any sense, however.

*Unless you can ask this and take a crap sit on a toilet, you have an entire campaign about taking a shit. As usual, R displayed plenty of his anal fixation.

*Take a turd on a toilet on a fucking toilet where you sit up straight. About half of his comments made some reference to backdoor sex, or fecal material, and related subjects.

*If you are hunting terrorists in Africa and eat cheese or any kind of dairy they can smell you for miles. I have heard about people being able to smell you when you cut the cheese, but I did not know they could smell you because you just eat cheese. I also know about another kind of body odor associated with cheese, but I don't think R was talking about that (it should be noted that R has his own special interest in cheese, as frequent readers of this blog know).

R made the mistake of attacking the lovely long-legged P from California and suggesting she did not ever have sex. P responded:

*I fuck so much I can't even handle it. And we are a perfect fit too.

That put him in his place, and R quickly beat a retreat. R changed the topic.