It is all about the butt

One of our frequent visitors to Skype, R, likes to drink a lot. The more he drinks, the more of an expert he becomes, on every subject. Interestingly, all conversations on all subjects somehow seem to lead back to a discussion of anal sex of some kind, or fecal material. When people talk about hockey, R brings the conversation around to anal sex. When people talk about Miami, R somehow connects the discussion to anal sex. If there is any discourse about DNA, R somehow manages to find out some way to bring in anal sex. Any topic somehow seems to be a invitation to discuss cornholing; automobiles, cancer, terrorism, atomic weaponry, nutrition, singing, etc.

For example, a young man came into a Skypeland room, and asked if an older lady, married to a somewhat unattractive older man, could love a young man. R immediately turned the question on its ear, to speculate about a potential homosexual relationship between the young man and the husband, with plenty of anal sex. I entered the conversation an hour or more later, and was asked what I would do if I came home and caught my wife in the arms of another man. I wondered if R would get jealous and try to take the man for himself. R responded, again in a drunken stupor, that if he found another man having his way with his misses, "if I caught that man, that man would be fucked". Sure enough, again any discussion about any subject with R somehow seems to lead to R fantasizing about anal sex, or threatening someone with anal sex, or waxing poetic about anal sex. When confronted with this, R always denies that he is doing this, and claims that it is always the fault of the others in the conversation. Ah yes, clearly... I guess denial is not just a river in Egypt.

As an experiment, one of the moderators brought up about 20 different subjects in a row, asking R what he thought. Sure enough, within a sentence or two, R had somehow worked in a reference to anal sex. For example, when he was asked about the snail darter fish, R asked if the snail darter was some kind of "bottom feeder". Again, any subject just leads right back to some sort of reference to anal sex...

It is amazing. I asked him once why he somehow seems so anxious to talk about bunghole banging that every conversation seems to revolve around poophole poking. He denied that this was true, and said that it was the fault of the Americans; that is why every discussion he has in Skypeland with Americans seems to focus on rump rangers, rimming, dick lickers and big steaming piles of shit.

Addendum

R will go on and on and on without hardly stopping to take a breath for literally hours. Every hour or two,, R takes a break for 20 minutes or so and then returns back, stronger than ever. One of the moderator figures that the reason that he leaves is that R talks so much, he is unable to drink to maintain his buzz. Therefore, when R starts to sober up, he takes a break and goes off to drink half a quart of vodka. When R has taken a leak and had some more alcohol, he returns to the fray, fighting and insulting and cursing and threatening to kill just about everyone else in the room.