Unequal

Skypeland is a crucible in which one can examine the interactions of males and females in great detail (for example, see the blog post "Men and Women"). In the Western world, and particularly in the US, it is politically correct to believe that men and women not only should be treated the same, but are treated the same and are identical in all other aspects, including abilities and interests.

However, as nice as this fantasy is, it really bears no resemblance to reality. An easy way to explore this is to consider flirting between men and women. Western women seem to have no problem making very racy and provocative comments to men in Skypeland, both in voice and in text, but then get offended if men reply in any way that is even vaguely reminiscent of the tone of the woman's statements. Not only have I observed this directly myself in several circumstances over my time in Skypeland, but other males have complained about this to me.

As an example, the lovely K has a very enticing picture on herself on Skypeland, and often makes flirtatious comments to D. This has escalated over the weeks, but D often told K he was afraid of being too forward and felt he had to be proper and a gentleman with K. However, things recently came to a head when K sent D a message asking him to read an essay posted on Craig's List, entitled "Just Fuck Me". This essay basically complains that western men do not treat women appropriately. Western men have all become metrosexuals and are too polite and politically correct, according to the author of the essay, and instead she craves a man that will just tell her he wants to fuck her, and then pushes her into some dark corner and then just takes her, hard and rough and fast, over and over. D was startled by this suggestion from K, and so felt slightly emboldened. D decided it was therefore safe to compliment K a bit more, in a slightly more aggressive fashion, and therefore sent a message to K that she is a "gorgeous babe and a MILF". Predictably, K seemed extremely offended and hurt by this response by D. D felt that Kcame close to blocking D for being so bold.

As ridiculous as that story sounds, this script gets played out over and over with other men and other women, both in Skypeland and in real life. G, a young man tells me that V frequently sends him text messages such as "I am going to mb now, brb", where "mb" is an abbreviation for "masturbate", and "I have a beaver for you" and responds to comments of G that a project is "coming along" with statements like, "like to cum?". However, if G ever flirts back, V is offended and annoyed with G.

Another example I have heard of is the story of H, and a newcomer to the room, the lovely IJ. When IJ saw H's picture, she said he was a "handsome devil". When H saw IJ's picture, he was stunned by her beauty. As attracted as H was to IJ, he found out that her ancestry was almost identical to his, and her character seemed to be similar as well. She and her ancestors shared many physical features with H's family. So, H jokingly stated that it was not a bad good idea for H to breed with IJ, since they were too genetically close and possibly cousins. Nevertheless, IJ became annoyed with H over an unrelated matter, and proceeded to badmouth him at every opportunity, accusing him of "pathetically hitting on her" dozens of times. H observed this in amazement, knowing that the records of conversations with IJ that he had would show a far different picture, and even paint IJ in a very negative light. But, although IJ portrays herself as an ardent feminist, she demands and expects unequal treatment in the arena of male-female relations. A lesbian, under no such constraints or expectations, would have had no qualms about calling IJ's bluff and holding her up to public derision. However, H feels restrained out of some sort of chivalry. At least at the moment.

Another episode that I have run across is that of SS, who is trying to get work as a model, and has compiled a very racy portfolio of pictures of herself in lingerie. Her Skypeland profile picture is a closeup of a very shapely posterior, or as she says, her "bum". SS has showed these very outlandish pictures to my friend Y. However, Y, probably cleverly, has avoided making any but the blandest possible comments about these pictures to avoid upsetting SS. Perhaps SS is disappointed not to get a bigger response, but at least she is not angry at Y, so that is for the best.

Although the anonymity and the casual atmosphere in Skypeland can enhance this phenomenon, it also happens in real life.

* I dated an FBI agent who invited me to her place, and then told me not to make any moves on her since she was "packing heat". As soon as I could, I ran out of there. She followed me to my car and I just quickly shook her hand and drove off. Later she complained bitterly that I had not shown any interest in her or even kissed her.

*A young lady I had a crush on for years was finally single, and I finally asked her if she would have a problem if I made a pass at her. She said she would like that, and so I touched her hair when we were walking back along the ocean from a brunch. She became incensed and then brought it up over and over and over and told me what a pervert I was. I never talked to her again after that. She sent me messages, but by then I had decided she was a bit too unstable to talk to.

*A woman I had taught exercise classes with invited me to take her away after her MBA exams for a 10 day trip through the desert in Arizona. I flew to California and paid for a rental car and hotel rooms with two double beds and for meals, but it went very badly. The entire trip, she refused to do more than sullenly grunt one word answers to questions. She seemed very unhappy, and I could not guess why. I tried everything I could to cheer her up and to see what was wrong; did she have a new boyfriend? had the exams gone badly? was she ill? was she upset? was she angry? sad? having a fight with friends or family? She wouldn't answer. Finally, she was sitting on her bed, and I was on mine. She uttered the longest statement I had heard from her in ten days, "You know what I really like? I really like to have my feet rubbed". I, being completely stupid, stood up and took one step towards her bed. She screamed at me, at the top of her lungs, "Don't you fucking touch me". She was so upset she vomited all over herself, although she had not had any alcohol and had not been feeling ill before this. While she puked up her guts in the motel toilet, I drove around Tucson looking for an all-night drugstore to find something to settle her stomach. I wondered, what on earth am I doing here? I was a bit annoyed, so the next morning I took her back home across the desert at about 90 miles per hour. This young lady was furious because I seemed to have developed a poor attitude, and might not want to go to a party she had scheduled with a large number of her friends and their boyfriends. I did not go to the party, of course, but she begged and pleaded for months for a second chance. I stupidly gave her a second chance, and she acted even worse. I decided at this point it was better to just ignore her, although she continued to send me letters and photographs of her in scanty outfits for years after this.

I could list dozens of other similar episodes I have heard of or experienced, but I think it is very common for women to be forward, and then get enraged when men actually react in any way except to ignore the woman's flirtation. On the other hand, it is also very common for women to constantly be disappointed when men ignore their advances. In the politically correct culture that has been constructed in the West, particularly in the US, no matter what a male does, he is wrong by definition.

Much of the rest of the world takes a different approach. For example, Italian men flirt with every woman, both young and old. Italian women I have met feel very ugly in the US when they do not get the same treatment from most American men. American women who visit Italy often feel incredibly offended when Italian men whistle at them, and return to the US fuming and wanting to drop nuclear weapons on Italian cities to get even. However, in some ways, the Italian approach and those of other older cultures around the world are in some ways far simpler and clearer, with less nonsense than what we have in modern American culture.

Addendum

According to K, she never came close to blocking D. What K did not like was the juxtaposition of the word "mother" with the term "fuck" in the acronym, and K would have been much happier to have been called a "BILF" (A new acronym for Bitch I'd Like to Fuck) or even "CILF".