A little gentleman

One of the more frequent visitors to Skypeland recently has been a Brit who goes by the name LF. LF has a reputation for offering to drop his drawers on web cam for anyone who wants to watch. LF likes to do this for not only females, but males as well, and will purportedly pleasure himself for his web audience with only minor encouragement. LF is quite proud of his status as a "web pervert", it seems.

What is even more amusing about LF is his approach to "chatting up" the ladies in the room. LF talks in a murmur, and has a fairly deep voice. He gets on a roll that women just seem to eat up. Some laugh, but they listen in rapt attention anyway. A typical LF "cyber mating call" goes something like this:

"Well darlin I work in Nottingham for Nissan, an' ah operate me heavy equipment. I drive hot rivets to get a tight fit, and that is the best, you know what ah mean? Ah like to show a lass me twig 'n berries because that is what it is all about, 'in it? Want to see my stimulus package, lovey? Just check out me undercarriage and I will inspect your unmentionables and inflatables and give them the proper attention an maybe have a wee bit of a sniff in those nether regions. Then we can have us a bit of pipe fittin'. How about we meet up an' have us a bit of a Devonshire burberry surprise? Ah will just air it out a bit, and then you can give me a "hows your father" and an under and over and round the thicket, home to granny's house we go with a basket of goodies..."

Most women seem to listen to this nonsense with fascination. British women in particular seem to be drawn to it, perhaps because it is similar to what they heard from the lads in High School. To me it just sounds ridiculous and I cannot understand why women give him the time of day.


Addendum

I was recently surprised to find out that LF believes that the US is as bad as Nazi Germany. LF's evidence for this that the US states that they do not want to rule the world, and therefore Americans are clearly Nazis, according to LF. LF complains that the US is unfair to everyone on the planet earth, and therefore the US should pay to place desalination plants all over the world, in every country. LF alleges that the US only assists countries if they can get something for it since they are "building a worldwide empire".

LF also believes that the US is bankrupt and is 85% owned by China. However, LF still demands that the US should pay billions and billions of dollars to the poor around the world. LF however does not believe that Europe or the UK or China should pay anything at all to help the poor.

Even though LF works for Nissan, he claims Nissan is not a capitalist corporation. Even though LF lives in the UK, he does not believe that the UK or Europe is socialist. He gave us his definitions for the words "socialism", "fascism" and "capitalism" and they were complete nonsense. LF said that Fascists and Capitalists are essentially identical, and are defined as just being people that are greedy. He said Socialists were people that are not greedy. When we tried to explain the details of each of these concepts to him, he dismissed it as too complicated, and eventually left in a tiff.

At first LF had seemed fairly rational, even if he was a bit of a pervert. A little probing, and all of a sudden LF's true nature was revealed. Like almost every other Brit attracted to a particular corner of Skypeland, LF seems to be a strident anti-American. Interesting.


Addndeum II

I have just heard an amazing story from a friend F in Skypeland, When F first encountered LF in Skypeland, it was in a discussion with a group describing about different household items they have shoved up their rectums. One after another described how they relished shoving kitchen implements up their bungholes. A young lady waxed ecstatic about how nice it was to shove garden tools up her pooper. F said that this gave an entirely new meaning to the word, "ho".


Addendum III

Recently LF has been becoming more bold, asking the women in a political discussion room to "get your tits out". He also proudly urinated in a jar on a webcam, and then drank it for his audience of women. LF proudly admits that he is a bit of a "peeping Tom" as well and likes to spy on women when they are in private. I have no idea how extreme LF can get, but he seems to have fewer limits than many others.

As you can imagine, a lot of rumors go around about LF. One lady has told me she believes he likes to "wank it in lady's shoes" and ignore the lady herself. Another told me that LF is into "Brazillian fart porn" (see this website for some examples). A female friend privately calls LF "Mr. Wee Wee Hands" (copyright by Luscious Legs the Licorice Lover from NZ) for his widely varied and somewhat distasteful sexual proclivities. I thought it was funny enough it needed to be highlighted.

Recently LF said to a young lady in a public forum in Skypeland that he wanted to "spread her crack across his face". This was not well-received, as one can imagine.

Today I heard him asking the lads in the room what color underpants they were wearing.. The only reason he could see for the space program was to investigate what it is like to have sex in space. He starting speaking in a falsetto voice, pretending to be a girl to flirt with the guys in the room.

Addendum IV

Today Mr. Wee Wee Hands told me that he is an alcoholic. Mr. Wee Wee says that he has to have a beer or two when he first wakes up, every morning. Ah yes.. such an impressive character.