Who is Bin Laden?

In Skypeland, one gets to hear a lot of interesting speculation and crazy conjectures. Since Bin Laden has captured some of the public imagination in the world, but remains a bit of a shadowy figure, it is not surprising that there are a lot of different ideas and rumors about who Bin Laden is, or was. I have heard comments like:
*Bin Laden does not exist, and never existed.
*Bin Laden is dead.
*Bin Laden is a CIA employee with a fake beard and fake accent.
*Bin Laden is sitting at home comfortably in Yemen.
*Bin Laden is being treated regularly in a US military hospital, under guard by US forces.
*Bin Laden meets regularly with President George W. Bush, and even visits the White House in person from time to time.
*Bin Laden is being paid regularly by the US Government to attack Americans/Afghanis/Muslims/etc
*Bin Laden is being hidden in the caves created for him by the US Government in northern Afghanistan/Waziristan
*Bin Laden is being protected by US forces/the Pakistani military/Iranians/Pakistini intelligence services
*Bin Laden is a part being played by a sequence of different actors/fakes
*Bin Laden is a close family friend of the Bush family and is being protected by them
*Bin Laden was created by the Bush Family/Skull and Bones Society/CIA/US Military
*Bin Laden's speeches and fatwahs against Americans were written by the CIA/White House

What is interesting about these conjectures and ideas is the vehemence with which they are presented. Skypeland denizens will claim that their favorite idea is a "proven fact" and fight with others like a tiger to promote their guess over others, disputing others who disagree and dismissing contradictory facts. Some will even promote two or more contradictory ideas about Bin Laden's identity simultaneously. This really does speak to human nature and gullibility more than anything, I believe...