Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I am not from the UK, I am from England

One meets all kinds in Skypeland. One English gentleman, E1, advocated as much red wine as possible, every day, for health. We had a conversation between E1 and E2 from the UK:

E1: "Wave your fucking union flag every day; you might as well shove your index finger up your ass. It is not a United Kingdom, it is a fucking disunited Kingdom, it has not been united for a long time. Don't talk shite. Nationalists in Scotland want to break away. The world hates us. The Irish hate us. The Welsh are part of the fraying entrails of the former kingdom, and they want to break away too, and I don't blame them. Standing above it all is the Queen and Prince Charles. It is bollocks. Manchester United is the only united you find here. You are living in a dream world. You are a fucking fantasist. It is a fucking load of bullshit. I am an ex-communist. I am a warring non-liberal. I won't use my intelligence on you. I won't waste my breath."

E2: "You are a part time racist."

E1: "Are you on drugs? You are very deluded. What you are talking about? Muslims? You are a strange strange man. You are a peculiar man. Based on anything I said, there is not a hint of racism. If you call me a racist, I am afraid I have to say you are a bit of a moron..."

E2: "I know morons. I am married to a moron."

E1: "You have never been involved in any political actions. You should not even hesitate to list your political actions".

E2: "I was an English Catholic and was in Northern Ireland. My fellow Catholics tried to blow me up."

E1: "Is that how you are here? You had a Catholic ram a bomb up your ass and blow you across the water and you ended up here?"

E2: "I was in the military."

E1: "Tell me now you are army number, your regiment number. You should tell me like that, at a click of your finger. Being in the military is not political."

E2: "Are you mad? I don't tell anyone my army registration number... I am from Yorkshire; we have been invaded there by Afghans and Iraqis."

E1: "And, you just called me racist".

E2: "They do not respect our rules".

Me: "What rules do they not respect?"

E2: "You can't contact the police, because they are politically correct."

E1 "You are a Sun reader and you aspire to be a Daily Mail reader."

E2: "Fuck that. I am a Catholic. I am Englishman now living in Scotland".

E1: "You are beating up the Pakis"

E2: "I have never hit a Paki in my life."

E1: "You are full of shite".

E2: "Are you from the fucking BNP?"
(BNP is the abbreviation for the British National Party, the new name for the National Front in the UK. )

E1: "I am not a member of the BNP. You are looking for friends are you?"

E2: "I love you fucking Liberals".

E1: "Liberal? I am not a fucking Liberal you cunt".

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