What does unbalanced mean?

Two of the more impressive Brits who frequent Skypeland are the "muck expert" Mucus and his incomprehensible Yorkshire sidekick Mrs. B. The other Skypelanders always tell Mucus that he does not look like a 'proper Brit', since he father is a Greek Cypriot, but Mucus always protests this accusation vehemently. However, Mucus said today that "with a turban and a red dot on me head I could look like a Sikh". Ah yes, well we always suspected as much...

Mucus and Mrs. B were musing about the American military bases in the UK. Mucus was surprised that Americans on the base were "actually able to buy their own goods". He had thought that there were "a few bits and bobs on those bases" but he "didn't know how big they are". Mrs. B proudly told the room several times that Americans "fly their own kit in on airplanes" every day, in an effort to show how inferior and stupid the Americans are.

As they always seem to do, Mucus and Mrs. B got into a lot of confusion about percentages and numbers, in trying to compare the number of nonCaucasians in the UK and the US. Mrs. B estimated that "1% of the US is brown", but thought that the UK had more Muslims than the US (the UK has about 1.6 million Muslims, well short of the number of Muslims in the US, which is about 4-8 million, but no one could tell Mrs. B these numbers because he was in a frenzy of ignorance and proud to show off his stupidity). When the subject of "Nation of Islam" was brought up, Mrs. B did not want to hear it and just endlessly talked over anyone else in his blind ignorance.

When someone tried to bring up the percentages of African Americans (13%) and Hispanic Americans (17%), Mrs. B threw a fit since he does not understand percentages. A direct quote from Mrs. B on the subject of percentages is "if you have 65 million and you have 10 percent of 65 million, it is a different 10% than the ten percent of 350,000". Mrs. B made this statement smugly, as though he had discovered a cure for cancer, or a short proof of Fermat's Last Theorem, or discovered the secret of eternal life, or had solved one of the Hilbert Problems. When someone tries to explain percentages to Mrs. B, he invariably talks over them, claims he is correct no matter what, calls them a "wall-eh" and ends with the statement, "An don' gi' ah fock". I guess now we know why Mrs. B is an unemployed pipe-fitter.

Mucus and Mrs. B were extremely pleased with themselves when they thought they had found a way to "trick" me. They asked me what the abbreviation "PhD" stood for. I said it was "doctor of philosophy" in English, but that the original phrase was likely Latin. Mucus and Mrs. B were beside themselves with excitement because I had been "trapped"; obviously "doctor of philosophy" should be abbreviated as "D.O.P.", or maybe even as "D.O.F.", and therefore Mucus and Mrs. B now had evidence that they are superior to me. They went on a rampage, insisting that I was an idiot since I did not know what the "H" stood for in the abbreviation "PhD". Ah yes, these two are real geniuses.

When the topic of food arose, Mucus and Mrs. B asserted that the UK has the best beef in the world, particularly "Angus beef". Several others in the discussion disagreed, and one brought up the topic of Mad Cow Disease (Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or BSE). Mucus claimed that there was never any mad cow disease in the UK, and that the only mad cow disease is in the US. Oh really?

A quick look at the data shows that the UK found 179,000 cows with the disease during an eradication program and the US has only had one or two cases of BSE spread out over many years. It is estimated that over 400,000 BSE-infected cows were consumed in the UK and there have been about 164 deaths in the UK so far from the human form of the disease, variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (compared to about 40 cases in the entire rest of the world, combined). [1]

Mucus and Mrs. B said that anyone who had eaten bad beef in the UK must have been in a greasy spoon. I disagreed, and said that I had a beef dinner when I dined at "high table" (essentially formal dining in a posh academic setting in the UK) in Britain. At the high table dinner, I was served some of the worst beef I had ever seen; it was essentially inedible. This sent Mucus and Mrs. B into gales of laughter, since they evidently did not know what "high table" dining is. They felt that "high table was a place for children to eat". Of course, it was impossible to explain anything to them, since they are sure they are correct, no matter what. They get dumber and dumber talking to each other.

Mucus and Mrs. B complain bitterly that a given Skypeland forum and its webpage is not impartial and unprejudiced, and therefore does not live up to its promise of being "unbalanced". They believe that "unbalanced" means that there should be an equal presentation of all sides of every issue. No matter how often people try to explain to Mucus and Mrs. B what the term "unbalanced" means, they never seem to be able to understand it. I guess that is what happens if you don't do your A levels...

Addendum

Mucus and Mrs. B were beside themelves with hubris, positive that I had "never heard of a cafe" and did not know what a "greasy spoon" is. They claimed that greasy spoons do not exist outside of the UK, and the expression "greasy spoon" does not exist outside of the UK.

They also were positive that the blog post above showed what an idiot I am since one does not taste food with one's eyes, but with the tongue. Mrs. B excitedly said, "duzzin make fokkin sense".

I tried to tell Mucus and Mrs. B to "click on the high table link" above to learn about the phrase "high table". However, I was unable to get them to check the link to learn what the phrase means. They were in very high spirits and were quite pleased with themselves for proving that I am an idiot, but they were unable to figure out how to read the link.

Mucus wanted to correct this blog post, and so he tried to clarify things by specifying that he was talking about the last US civil war only (I am not sure what other civil wars there were in the US). He then repeated his story, which was no different than what I wrote above, except the second time he did not mention how long the payments had continued. Well maybe he thought his previous claim sounded a bit sketchy, and he might have claimed too much. Oh well.