Drunken stupid

Every so often in Skypeland, a group of habitual drunks gathers to spew nonsense. This evening we were treated to a lineup of four of them, some recruited to "battle" the others:

*R, a drunken lout in the UK who claims to be a mercenary, hitman and multimillionaire businessman who has hundreds of employees and heads an array of companies in dozens of countries. R claims to have at least a dozen immense estates in the UK and other countries. R supposedly has had a fiance E for 15 years. R is a transplanted white Rhodesian. R is extremely loud and angry and threatens to kill almost anyone he talks to when he is inebriated, which is at least once or twice a week. R often cannot tell who he is talking to, and gets completely confused. R drinks 1-3 liters of vodka when he goes on a binge which can last for several days. The website for R's company and the phone numbers all turn out to not exist. (see the blog posts "Ass cheese" and "Its all about the butt").

*J, a proudly gay San Diegan who sometimes "bats for the other team", including servicing women for money. J has claimed a dozen professions, and is full of outrageous stories. J defends his friends aggressively and believes he has access to the "button" that controls the room. J shows up in Skypeland fairly often, in various states of intoxication (see the blog posts "Just a gigolo" and "Rotten old bitch").

*P, a frequently drunk and abusive "retarded bus driver" from the Boston area (it is not quite clear if P is a "retarded bus" driver, or a retarded "bus driver"). P sings ribald songs and refers to most men as "numbnuts" and most women as "you stupid cunt". P is married to a mail order bride he bought in China (see the blog post "Old Macdonald").

*C, quiet-spoken English lady who drinks large quantities of boxed red wine. C is polite for the most part and seems to be at least neutral about the US, which is different from a large fraction of the Brits encountered in Skypeland (see the blog post "Brits and butts"). C often does not talk, so less is known about C.

These four filled Skypeland with vivid examples of why drunks can be tedious. R entertained the listeners with his imitation of a white Afrikaner and a black South African. When C heard R's impression of a black south African, she said in a wistful fashion, "Bring your big black cock over here for me". C also chanted a bit about her drink of choice, "red wine, red wine, red wine" and told the room that she liked traditional English food like meat pies, toad in the hole, bangers and mash and kippers. C earned brownie points with some in the room when she asserted that she was not found of the infamous Mrs. B (see the blog post "The US pulled down power poles ").
R said that the Brits in the room that were encouraging him were "smiling like a gobshite", whatever the Sam Hill that means, which some objected to mildly. J told R to "suck my scrotum", to which R said that he would "turn J's scrotum into a man-bag" (I didn't know R was handy with arts and crafts).

R said to one gentleman N who reminded him of his commitment to stop drinking, that "even to those of who drink you are an embarrassment". When R told N that N was "going to get fucked", N told R that of course he "would get fucked, but not by R, but by R's fiance E", since R was so often drunk that R has a "limp dick and can not satisfy E". N pointed out that R "likes to eat cheese out of a man's bunghole anyway, so he is not really interested in women" which seemed to irritate R, who began to make violent threats.

R told N that no Brits liked him. However, N told me that the only reason N had come in the room was that 4 young ladies, including a lovely young Brit, had separately sent N messages asking for his assistance. Apparently a very drunk and abusive R had been acting like a lecher and seemed to be "feeling his oats" a bit. N had promised to save these young ladies in Skypeland by distracting R a little, which N did in short order.

Nothing seems to be more interesting to N than talking to other men about assorted anal sex topics (see the blog post "Its all about the butt") and making death threats. Therefore, N soon forgot the ladies he was making passes at, and true to form, started talking about "butt fucking" and promising to hunt various people down to kill them and eat their carcasses.

R unveiled a new threat this evening. R has a young male Rottweiler dog and he wants to use it as a stud dog. R threatened men in the room that he would incapacitate them, and then train his dog to have sex by letting the Rottweiler service these men. However, quick-thinking G accused R of training his dog to have sex by letting the Rottweiler service R's "missus" E, since "R can't get it up any more with all that drinking". This seemed to distract R and created quite a bit of chaos.

Finally someone let R listen to the broadcast of a radio preacher for a few minutes. R of course assumed that the radio preacher was talking to him, and began to fight with the radio preacher.

Finally a moderator stepped in to quiet R down. A technique that seems to work well with R is to mute his microphone for 5 or 10 minutes, then to take him off mute and talk to him for 20 seconds. Immediately after this, R can be muted again for another 10 minutes, and the process repeated. R never realizes he is talking to a dead microphone, and can be well-managed this way.

R is funny in small doses, but he can essentially kill a room when he starts to dominate it, incoherently screaming profanities into his computer in a drunken haze. And too much of that just drives many away from a discussion.

Addendum

The idea that you'll have more intrinsic worth sober than drunk is a bigoted, fascist view that holds that members of certain groups are intrinsically less or more deserving than others — a view that has caused more human suffering than any [other] single idea. [1] — Jack Trimpey